Most people search for what they believe they lack. Yet what
they really seek is often what they overlook ... and undervalue. A search for
wealth, especially if accompanied by guilt, is a poor substitute for the state
of well-being and contentment that we call being happy.

Like love, happiness has many meanings and synonyms. A
dictionary might define happiness as a stable state of well-being.
Happiness includes a sense of being in the right place, ranging from contentment
to intense joy. Happiness refers to enjoyment of or pleasant satisfaction in
life, with security and the ability to fulfill one's wishes.

Another definition of happiness: "a continued sense of
delight, contentment, and joy emanating from a sense of self-goodness, sense of
life and sense of destiny".

Lasting happiness seems to be about about quality relationships
- including your relationship with yourself. Relationship happiness is about
enjoying who you are and sharing yourself with other people.

Child happiness seems to revolve around being loved,
exploring and preparing for independence. Adult happiness seems to
balance between taking care of self and taking care of others.

Unhappy people are often obsessed with trying to change each
other's behavior or deny each other's emotions. If you are responsible for your
own happiness, you have no use for coercion. If you do not need to coerce
others, you can fulfill your goals in ways that include freedom and
independence.

If you take responsibility for your own happiness, you reduce
the likelihood of coercing others. If other adults in your life share this
assumption and establish rules based upon it, then you and they can enjoy
independence and intimacy. Such independent intimacy is a
strong basis for happy relationships